“I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a worshipper of Talos.
But you don’t need to attend the Temple of the Nine to know that there’s something wrong in Skyrim when gays and cat people and lizards and shit can serve openly in the the Imperial Legion, but true sons of Skyrim can’t openly celebrate the apotheosis of Talos or pray at his shrines without being kidnapped by my Elven masters… I mean, uh, the Thalmor.
As High King, I’ll end the Thalmor’s war on religion (pinky-swear), and I’ll fight against outlander attacks on our Nord traditions. I’ll fight for the men I’ve held in my arms, dying on foreign soil! I’ll fight for their wives and… sorry. Got stuck in a loop there. Ahem.
Intense xenophobia made Skyrim strong, and it will make her strong again.
I am Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak. You will approve of this message.”
Funnier if you’ve both watched Rick Perry climb into a tank with Dukakis in his Youtube video, and played the game Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, I’m sure. If you haven’t played the later, I’ll summarize real quick – Ulfric here started a civil war with the aim of becoming King and separating his province from the Empire over religious persecution, while at the same time working for the people really responsible for the persecution. He’s also a touch racist and likes to repeat his “why I fight” speech over and over and over and over.
